


Let's skip the formalities

by Campodesol_2000



Category: Greek and Roman Mythology
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Hades has two dogs, Hades is sweet, Persephone wants to go to the Underworld, Rewritten myth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 06:08:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16738555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Campodesol_2000/pseuds/Campodesol_2000
Summary: After Persephone has stormed out after a fight, she runs into Hades. He has two of the cutest dogs ever, so Persephone hardly needs any convincing, voluntarily joining Hades to the Underworld. What will happen when the other gods find out she isn't on Earth anymore?





	Let's skip the formalities

**Author's Note:**

> Ollaaa! Thanks for reading my fic! My sister and I wrote this as a retirement present for our Greek teacher, hence all the silliness. I hope you like it!

“Why can’t you ever just think of what _I_ want?!”

  I storm out of the house, wishing there was a door in the house I could slam so hard it would fall out of its hinges. I scream as loudly as I can to let off some steam, steadily gathering more strange looks from the mortals working on the fields surrounding their houses. Behind me, my angry strides leave a trail of dead flowers behind. Normally, all nature grows heartily in my presence, since that is basically my job description, but today is not normal. My _mother_ Demeter thinks it would be good for my honour to accept the marriage proposal made to me by Apollo, but I refuse to marry him. Everyone always thinks he is the definition of sunshine, feasts and music. Us gods know better, though. He has had infamous affairs and will explode at the slightest provocation. This is especially true in his love life, hence why I’m stalking from my mother in my rage. It is childish, looks like a hissie fit, but I know I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions had I stayed.

  Sadly, this if far from the first time something of the likes has happened. She constantly treats me like a child and acts as if I can’t take care of myself. I’m a goddess for gods’ sake! Who does she think she is?! Wait, don’t answer that. She is absolutely not more powerful than I am, that’s just a myth…

  Knowing I would destroy the mortals’ harvest should I continue my rampage through the fields, I turn to my left as soon as I come across a small path into the forest. I let myself be surrounded by nature and slowly feel my anger seep away into the ground, causing some of the stones around me to crack. When I feel like I’ve calmed down enough not to destroy the entire forest in my hissie fit, I leave the path and sneak through the trees, helping some dying flowers on the way back to recovery while aimlessly wandering in my favourite place in the world. When I come across a small trickle of water, I follow it upstream, walking with my feet in the water as soon as the stream gets broad enough. The feeling of the cold water is soothing and refreshing. I don’t care that my sandals or dress get wet, it just feels good, the water rushing over my feet.

  The farther I walk, the clearer the sounds of a slightly lisping whisper become. When I pass a curtain of hanging plants, a serene clearing appears in front of me, complete with pond, cascade and anthousa combing her hair. The nymph appears to be the daughter of a wood and water nymph, tending to the flowers around her own pond. I quietly join her on her rock in the middle of the pond, loath to disturb the serenity. I conjure a pastel pink flower and offer it to her as a silent peace offering and she braids it into her waist length hair. When she has finished the entire process, she looks up and gives me a knowing smile.

  “You are troubled, mistress,” she states softly.

  Being a goddess myself and all, I can’t say I’m really surprised she seems to know more than she should, so I just roll with it. “Pfft, tell me about it,” I say and I proceed to tell her the entire story.

  She listens attentively and smiles genuinely at some of my outbursts. She actually starts giggling when I shiver at the mere prospect of marrying Apollo. Slowly, but surely, our conversation tips into gossiping.

  “I’m not really supposed to know what’s happening upstairs, but I so happened to catch a sinfully delicious rumour,” the nymph tells me. “Have you perhaps ever heard of the nymph Echo?”

  I tap my chin with my index finger and nod. “The name does ring a bell, but I don’t think I’ve ever met her, why?”

  “Rumour has it that she has gone and fallen in love with a mortal.”

  “No!” I gasp, scandalised. “I thought the Olympus had decided that demigods were not supposed to be created anymore?”

  “Oh, but if the rumours are even remotely close to reality, that won’t be happening soon. See, Echo was pretty talkative. Too talkative. So Hera cursed her so she is only able to repeat the last three words of the last sentence she has heard. Now this is where it becomes interesting. Echo fell in love with Narcissus. He, however, thinks he is more beautiful than even the gods and therefore rejects everyone who offers their love to him. Echo is now stuck hanging around the clearing where he lives, only able to say the words of his rejection.”

  I laugh heartily. “You can say from Hera what you may, but she has taste. Teaches Echo not to mess with our ways.”

  The nymph shrugs. “Well, it still is kind of sad. But enough of that now. So, your mother is planning to marry you to Apollo? That sounds… like a bit of a dread, really.”

  I roll my eyes. “Tell me about it. He is so… so… _irritating._ He really thinks he is the best you can get. And oh, that smug _grin_ , I just want to claw my eyes out every time I see it. Wholly annoying.” I let myself fall on my back on the rock we’re sitting on and stare at the sky. “Maybe it’s time for me to head back. My mom will be furious.”

  The nymph nods her head solemnly and gives me a encouraging, albeit a bit mysterious and even  mischievous, smile. “Probably, yes. But I think you can spare some time before you should really go back.” She points towards the trees to her right. “If you go that way, just straight ahead, you’ll find another clearing, just like this one, where Echo will probably hang around to pine after Narcissus. When you continue to walk, you’ll find a second clearing, which has far more flowers.”

  My face lights up. “Flowers?” I might sound like a typical teenage girl, but I don’t care. Meadows with flowers usually are the only thing that can really cheer me up when I’m down. When the nymph nods again, I stand up from the rock and take her hands in mine. “Thank you. I really needed to get this all of my chest.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  I turn around and jump in the water, swimming towards the trees she pointed out earlier. The water of the lake is heavenly cool, and that says something. I know the waters on the Olympus, and this comes really close. Dripping from head to toe, I eventually climb out of the water on the far end of the lake and start walking into the forest, the birds chirping high in the sky and the insects buzzing. Everywhere I walk, flowers start to grow, from the smallest daisies to enormous roses. Soon, I stumble across the first clearing the nymph talked about. And indeed, a guy that can only be Narcissus is perched on the edge of a small pond, staring into the water. A second look confirms that he is lovestrickenly staring at his own reflection.

  How has Echo ever fallen for him? He obviously doesn’t care for anything except for his own reflection in the crystal clear water. Echo is lingering at the edge of the clearing, every now and then stretching out her arms in Narcissus’s reflection, constantly repeating the words, “... never love you.” She keeps trying to swallow the first word, but it still sounds like she is rejecting him over and over again.

  My heart clenches and I avert my eyes, aiming for the other clearing the nymph told me about. I am deeply in need of some positive energy, consisting mainly of flowers, but my mood does not brighten when I see the first rays of sunshine fall on the ground. I intended to stride resolutely onto the clearing, drop down between the flowers and lie there until I feel a bit better, but I stop dead in my tracks when I hear a high barking. By the sound of it, there must be at least five dogs on the clearing. Not one to back down from a challenge, I quietly approach the clearing and hide behind a broad tree. I press myself against the trunk and stick my head around to look into the clearing. The sight makes me almost squeak in delight, but I manage to control myself. On the clearing, two puppies are enthusiastically trying to push over their boss to get to the treat he’s holding in his hands. However, that’s not the first thing I notice. It might be a bit obvious to mortals, but it kind of jumps out when a dog has more than one head, let alone three. And there are two of them! They are absolutely _adorable_ and I can’t help but squeal softly at the almost domestic scene in front of me. I immediately slap my hand in front of my mouth, but it’s too late. Just before I manage to hide behind the broad tree, I see the man’s head whipping around in my direction.

  “Shit, shit, _shit_ ,” I mutter as I contemplate my options. In the roughly three seconds I think I have, three plans come up in my head. A, grow a bunch of plants to conceal me. B, jump real high and hide in between the branches of the tree. C, run as fast as I can. Sadly, neither of those plans seem to be good options. I jump when I hear a male voice.

  “Hello? Who’s there?” A slight pause. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”

   _Hm-mmm. Yeah, right_. Staying right where I am, I listen closely for any sound indicating he is approaching my hide-out. I don’t hear anything, though, and the temptation to step into the sunlight and walk onto the clearing is getting bigger with the second.

  “Hello?” he calls again. Slow footsteps approach, the sound of two feet crushing grass and small, white flowers getting louder and louder.

   _Maybe I_ should _have listened to my mother._

No, I say to myself. I have to take matters into my own hands now, if I want the life I’ve always dreamt of. Freedom, the choice to do every damn thing I want.

 A big, warm hand is placed on my shoulder, and I can’t contain a squeak.

 “Wow, easy.” The man pulls his hand away. “What are you doing here, on your own? You’re not a nymph, are you?”

  I squint my eyes. “How can you tell?”

  He actually looks uncomfortable, standing this close to me underneath this tree. He throws me a small, shy smile and rubs the back of his neck with one hand. When his two puppies try to jump on me, he pulls them back, calling an abrupt order which gets them quiet for a few seconds. “Sorry.” He crouches down, scratching their chins and looking up at me. “They haven’t had that much training yet.”

  I try to bite back a smile. “It’s okay, really. At home, we don’t have that many animals at all.”

  “Yeah?” He stands up straight. _Geez,_ he’s tall. And he has the _most beautiful_ eyes. “Where do you live?”

  I shake my head, not able to hold my smile after all. “No, no, no, first, I want an answer on my question.”

  “What question?”

  I give him an unimpressed look and try to lean casually against the tree, which I fear fails miserably. “How you can tell I’m not a nymph?” I ask, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.

  He smirks. “Well, firstly, nymphs don’t _squeak_ when they encounter something they are unfamiliar with.” I huff indignantly, but he continues as if he didn’t hear me. “Secondly, I have come here often enough to know by heart which nymphs lives in this part of the forest, and I haven’t seen you here before. Therefore, you can’t be a nymph.” After some consideration, he adds, “and you can’t be a mortal either, because then you would’ve fainted at the sight of two three-headed dogs.”

  I snort and lean down to pet the six very enthusiastic puppy-heads in front of me. “How do you know I didn’t? Maybe I’ve mastered the art of fainting without falling down. Maybe I had just woken up and only squeaked because you were still there?”

  As I get up again, the man lightly pulls the puppies to the clearing again, where he throws  a small skull into the forest, sending the dogs running headlong into the trees. He turns to me again. “Yes, apart from the fact that that’s obviously the most logical explanation here, the fact that you didn’t drop to your knees praying when I mentioned mortals, tells me all I need to know. Now, I don’t think I caught your name?”

   _Damn, I was_ that _close to convincing him I’m not who I seem to be._ “That might be because I haven’t told you yet, don’t you think?” Saving him the trouble of actually asking for my name, I continue. “My name is Korè.”

  His face brightens in recognition. “Ah, the daughter of Demeter. My lady, it is an honour to meet you.”

  I squint my eyes. “Uhmm, thanks, I guess? But who are you?” _I mean, flattering he knows who I am, but since I don’t know him, it also looks a bit stalkerish... right? But hey, he has good manners. That’s a plus point. And he’s kinda cute._

  He straightens up to his full height and when he speaks again, his voice sounds just a tad more regal, proud. “I am Hades, King of the Underworld, Ruler of Tartaros.”

  My jaw drops. “Oh my gods, you’re _the_ Hades? That’s so _awesome!_ ”

  He gives me a somewhat confused look. “It is?” Hades frowns, but before he can give me a look that is probably meant to be frightening, his dogs jump at his chest with the skull in one of the six mouths, causing Hades to fall flat on his back. This, of course, makes his next words even less powerful. “I had actually expected a more frightened reaction…”

  I reach forward to grab one of the dogs and lift it off his chest. “But look, you’re like a celebrity on Olympus. Everyone tells those stories about you, how you sacrificed yourself by choosing to be the god of the Underworld, being all noble and all.”

  He arches an eyebrow from where he is still sitting on the ground and stands up while saying his next words. “Yeah, right. I was the noble one. You know, I like the sound of that. Better than the original story. Anyway, why are you here? Shouldn’t you be with your mother?”

  “Firstly, will you _shut up_ about that ignorant… _person._ ” I clench my hands to fists. “Secondly, I want to hear the real story about you becoming the god of the Underworld later. Thirdly, I’ve always wanted to see your palace. My mom never let me, though.” I look up at him, the shy look on my face I always use to get something done with my father, Zeus. Hades and Zeus are brothers, maybe it’ll work on him too.

  He huffs. “What? You want _me_ to bring you? No. Too dangerous.”

  I groan. “Oh, _come on,_ you’re the _god_ of the Underworld _._ What could _possibly_ happen down there when I’m with you?”

  “Korè, it’s the kingdom of the Dead. That does it for most people. I’m bringing you back to your mother.”

  “No,” I say demonstratively. I sit down in the middle of the field and start inspecting the flowers in my immediate vicinity.

  He looks at me, unimpressed - at least, that’s what I think, because I’m definitely not looking in his direction. _I’m not!_ “And that should stop me from trying?”

  “I will tell everyone you raped me,” I say casually. “That you found me here and I asked you for help and you just… well, raped me.”

  “And you think they’ll take your word over mine?”

  “Apollo definitely will. I’m off to marry him anyway. He won’t like it, you defiling me.”

  “That little piece of shit can’t touch me. I’ll crush him like the annoying fly he is.” Hades does start to sound irritated now, that’s a start. He walks towards me.

  I shrug. “Hey, same here. You think I’ll let him do anything to me? But trust me, he’ll try.”

  When Hades reaches forward to grab my arms and pull me up, I quickly make a small cage of roots grow around me and stick out my tongue.

  He throws me a bitch-face and throws his hands up in surrender. “Fine. But if anything happens to you, it’s not my fault.”

  Then, he actually starts to walk away, calling for his dogs, apparently called Kerberos and Rigaros, to come with him. _What is he doing? And we were having so much fun!_ I quickly get rid of the roots and get up to follow him. I start talking to him almost non-stop, not giving him a chance to send me away. At first, he just looks annoyed, but after a while, I see his face softening into a relaxed expression. He even chuckles when I tell him the story about why I’m really hiding in the forest.

  “Marrying Apollo? He’s just pathetic.”

  “I _know._ And every nymph ever starts swooning when his name comes up. I really don’t know what it is about him. He’s such a douche.”

  Hades seems to think for a minute. “You know, if that’s truly the reason you don’t want to go home, I guess you could, I don’t know, take a vacation in my place for a week?”

  “Would you do that for me? That’s so sweet! Especially for the god of the Underworld,” I smirk.

  “If you don’t stop emphasizing that, I will withdraw the invitation.”

  “Alright, alright, I’ll stop. You wuss,” I say under my breath with a roll of my eyes.

  “What did you just say?” He turns around with a thunderous expression, stopping in the process, but his eyes show mirth. “You know, I could always have Kerberos or Rigaros tear you to pieces.”

  “You’re letting your dogs do that? As I said, you’re a wuss.” I pet his cheek and walk around him with Kerberos en Rigaros behind me, barking my ears off.

  “Oh, you’re going to pay for that.” The next thing I know, I’m being tackled to the ground by the king of Hell. I roll over, groaning loudly, to see him pushing himself up on his elbows, a smirk on his face. “First lesson,” he says. “If you’re going to live with me for a while, you won’t insult me. If you do, you’ll have to face the consequences.”

  I try to fold my arms in front of my chest, but since Hades is looming over me, my hands end up in his sides instead. A great plan begins to form in my mind. “Well, I guess I’ll have to do just that then.” And I start tickling him mercilessly. It takes less than five seconds for him to basically collapse on top of me, enabling me roll us over and pin his hands over his head. “That is, if it won’t be the other way around.”

  I can see he’s not really trying to hold me back. He’s way too strong for me to keep him down if he really didn’t want me to, but I think that he’s enjoying this, having human (or divine) company. I’m pretty sure that under that whole bad guy façade, he is actually a big, soft teddy bear. If everything goes the way he wants it to go, that is. Maybe I should try not to get him mad.

  It’s nice as long as it lasts, but when Hades has had enough, I’m beneath him again in seconds, now with my own hands pinned above my head. He throws me a wink, sits up straight and runs a hand through his hair. “Well, not that I’m not enjoying this impromptu wrestling match, but we really should get going if you want a tour before dinner.”

  “Are we nearly there yet?”

  “Lesson number two, no stupid questions. Look behind you.”

  I nearly pull my neck muscles to see what he means, and my jaw drops once again. “Is that-”

  Hades nods, a proud look on his face. “One of the entrances to the Styx.” He stands up, pulls me up from the ground as well and wipes some grass and dirt from my dress. After a short whistle, Kerberos and Rigaros run towards the black cave in front of us, disappearing completely within two seconds.

  I start skipping towards the cave too, eager to investigate, but Hades pulls me back.

  “Wait, you’re not dead, so you’ll stand out terribly if you go in there on your own. I know I probably won’t be able to stop you from doing something you really want, but at the very least, stay by my side until we’ve reached my palace.”

  “You have a palace?” I ask.

  “Well, of course I do. I’m the _god_ of the Underworld, remember?” He brushes off the last blades of grass and nudges me a little, his eyes lingering on mine a little longer than necessary. “Come on, let’s go.”

 

“Okay, so we’ll have to cross the Styx here. Very Important Lesson number three, don’t ever stick your hand in the water, or you’ll die.”

  Being the annoying child that I am, I reach out my hand towards the river, even though we’re still too far away for me to touch it. He immediately slips his arm around my waist, pulling me back, and I snort. “I thought that only counted for mortals?”

  Hades looks at the water dubiously. “Officially, yes, but let’s not test that theory, alright?” He stalks towards the river, past the line of waiting souls, trusting me to follow along. He stops in front of a very old looking boat, in which an equally old looking man is seated. He sounds almost fond as he speaks his next words. “Charon, my friend, how are you today?”

  The old man shrugs. “Same as always, your Grace. Some spirits here haven’t got enough money to pass and won’t stop being a huge pain in the ass, but the others are quite nice. They’re just scared for what comes next.”

  Hades nods, an understanding look on his face. “Oh, yes, of course, the trial. Oh, well. I’d like to pass.”

  Charon only then seems to notice me and looks me up and down, his eyes calculating. His next words, however, are still for Hades. “If you don’t mind me asking, your Grace, why don’t you just snap your divine fingers and teleport yourself to the palace?”

  I glance at Hades, but he doesn’t seem to be as indignant as I thought he would be. On the Olympus, you can’t talk like that to Zeus. He would kill you deader than dead. And yes, that’s possible. I’ve seen it happen.

 But Hades just smiles and shrugs as well. “I felt like a walk.”

 Charon smirks, nodding towards me.

 Hades coughs. “Oh yes, this is… Persephone. She wanted to see the palace so I thought I would take her down for a tour.”

   _Persephone…_ He just called me bringer of death. _Awesome._

  I nod eagerly. “Yeah, isn't he a nice guy?” I say, petting him on the shoulder, ignoring the surprised look on his face. “I was walking through the forest and I saw this nymph and… Wait before I tell you my whole life story, do you need toll or anything?”

  Charon laughs heartily and gets a coughing fit from the force of it. He waves away my concern and motions for me to walk to the boat. “No ma’am, that won't be necessary. Special guests deserve special treatment.” I blush lightly at the compliment. “Does the madam want the carriage for her own, or is sharing alright too?”

  “Private” - “Sharing!” we say at the same time. I immediately turn pleading eyes on my impromptu friend and I see the resistance melting away from his face. He turns to Charon.

  “We seem to be sharing,” he says, to which Charon only answers with a knowing smirk. Hades pushes me in the direction of the boat with a hand placed lightly in the small of my back and helps me climb over the side before climbing in himself, ignoring all the awed stares the pair of us is gathering.

  When I’m seated comfortably I look around me, taking in the completely different surroundings. I place my hands on Hades’s shoulders and shake them excitedly. “Oh my gods, this is awesome! Thank you for taking me here!”

  Hades smiles fondly at my antics. “You’re quite welcome, philtate.”

  The pet name seems to slip in almost casually, but when I look at him, I see a blush creeping up his neck. I turn to look forward in the boat and lightly bump shoulders to indicate it’s fine, causing him to sag and let out a quiet breath of relieve. When the boat is entirely filled with souls, Charon pushes off and starts rowing. I look around again excitedly and look over the side of the boat to see what the water of the Styc looks like, which prompt Hades to put an arm around my waist again to make sure I don’t accidentally topple over into the water.

  “Did you know, Persephone?” Hades says, probably trying to distract me from doing dangerous things.

  “Did I know what?” I turn to face him, immediately noticing how close we are sitting.

  “If you want, I could teach you how to make soul flowers?”

  I’m intrigued. “Soul flowers?”

  “Yes. You see, the power of a god is derived from their soul, which, for example, contains enough energy for you to grow an entire year’s harvest in only a minute. You would feel a bit drained afterwards, but you could do it. Now, normally you make actual flowers, but you can also give a sort of corporeal form to your soul and make a soul flower.”

  I clap my hands excitedly and shuffle backwards a little to create more space. “Show me,” I demand.

  He arches an eyebrow. “Only if you ask nicely,” Hades responds with a smirk.

  I press my hands together against my chest and look up to where the sky would have been, had we been on earth. “Please, please, _please!_ ” I beg.

  He laughs delightedly and I smile at the sound. “Alright, but I’m not going to make a flower. I have a reputation to uphold.”

  “Oh, yeah, because, Gods forbid, no-one needs to know the King of the Underworld can make flowers at will. You know, it might be a good thing to soften your image a bit. It might make people less reluctant to go to your realm.”

  “I don’t have to, because they go here anyway, whether they want to or not. And when they’re here, they see it’s not that bad.”

  I groan and drop my head in my hands. “You’re such a guy. People have feelings, you know. Might be a good thing to act accordingly.”

  Hades doesn’t respond, but when I look up to see what’s gotten into him, I’m suddenly surrounded by a bush of plants and flowers. They are different from normal flowers, though. You can almost see through them and are a simmering white. When I reach out a hand to touch them, my finger goes right through them, but they don’t disappear.

  Charon coughs discreetly. “Sir? We’re here.”

  Hades looks up at him, cheeks reddening slightly, and clears his throat as he stands up. The moment breaks and, to my great disappointment, the flowers disappear.

  He steps on the ground next to the boat and extends his hand to help me out too. After saying goodbye to Charon, he places his hand on my lower back and lightly pushes me in the general direction of a great, looming palace.

  As soon as I see the depressing place, I nod determently. “Yep, I’m going to cheer this place up. You can definitely use some flowers.”

  “And have you thought of asking the owner of said place what he thinks of this plan?”

  “Of course not. You don’t have any say in this. You would only mess it up. You know what you need? A wife. She would keep the palace nice and tidy for you while you’re doing… whatever you do to pass the time.” After a second of thought, I add, “and she would have to be an awesome queen of course. Someone that demands respect from everyone who sees her.”

  Hades quirks an eyebrow, while making sure I don’t fall over anything on the ground, since I’m not exactly looking where I’m going. “Oh, really? And do you have someone in mind or are you just fantasizing?”

  “Well…” _Me. But no way I’m gonna tell you that._ “I know a nymph who wouldn’t say no to ruling an entire kingdom?” I say nonchalantly, prodding him in the side.

  He looks extremely offended by the mere idea of marrying a nymph. He ‘hmphs’ and looks straight ahead, ignoring my chuckles.

  “Nawh, don’t be mad, you big baby. Maybe you could show me around the palace.”

  He stops abruptly, turns around and grabs my arms. “First of all, I’m not a baby. Second, I’m not mad, I’m just annoyed.”

  “Pff, of course. ‘Annoyed’.”

  He clenches his jaw - which is rather distracting, really. This may be the first time I really understand what Aphrodite means with ‘he did the jaw thing and I lost it’.

  “Yes,” he growls. “Annoyed. And _why_ are you looking at me like that?”

  “Like wh-what?” I say. I immediately curse myself for not being able to form a sentence of more than two words.

  He takes a step back when he hears me stutter. “You’re not- You’re not afraid of me, are you?”

  I blink twice before answering. “What? No, of course not.” _Just slightly turned on…_ “Come on, I still want to see the palace.” I take a step closer to him and link our arms together as a silent peace offering. I see his features relax again and hear him sigh softly. “And you promised to tell me the story of how you really became the god of the Underworld, remember? If you really didn’t offer to take this place yourself, then how did you end up here?”

  He sighs. “You probably know the story of how our dad ate me and my brothers and sisters. Well,  your father wasn’t eaten, because our mom Rhea saved him. Zeus eventually saved us from Kronos and got to choose which realm he wanted to rule.”

  “So he chose Olympus.”

  “Yes. Now, Poseidon got to choose next, because I'm actually a pretty nice person and, being the responsible older brother, let him choose first. He didn’t want the Underworld either and chose the sea. That’s how I got stuck with.... this graveyard.”  

  “Well, I think it’s awesome.”

  He shoots me a hopeful smile. “Really?”

  “Yeah, it just needs some colour, like I said earlier.”

  He looked at his palace critically, slowly starting to nod. “Hm, I guess you’ve got a point. But I’m not going to do it. I’ve got better things to do with my time.”

  I roll my eyes and lose my footing as I stumble over a small rock that somehow found its way into my path. Hades quickly grabs my waist, making sure I don’t fall flat on my face. “Like what?” I say, as I casually hang only half a meter above the ground. “Playing with Kerberos and Rigaros?”

  He smirks and pulls me up from my admittedly uncomfortable position. “For one thing, yes. But also, I don’t know, ruling the Underworld?”

  “Pff, no, why would you think that?” I start to giggle and shake my head. “Now, the palace?”

  He bows mockingly. “But of course, my lady.”

 

The palace is _huge,_ but Hades shows me everything in just under an hour. Well, ‘shows’ probably isn’t the right word. He’s more like a whirlwind, telling me what a room is while already walking towards the next one. But it’s probably for the best, because otherwise it would’ve taken us three days. At some point, a servant comes up to us, telling Hades he’s needed in Tartaros.

  He sighs. “Fine. Persephone, if you’ll follow Daichi, he’ll show you to your room.”

  “Wait, I’m not coming with you?” I ask, surprised, and maybe a bit scared and lost too. I’m gonna be alone here, in this huge palace, the palace of the dead. And I’m not… dead yet, right?

   _What if this is all a trap?! Wait, stop thinking like that, that’s not true. Right?_

  I point at him angrily. “If this is all a trap… Remember our talk about consequences?”

  Now he looks offended for a split second, but understanding soon crosses his face and he holds up his hands placatingly. “Yes, I do, and no, this is not a trap.” He places his hands on my shoulders and steps a little bit closer. “Just go with Daichi. He will make sure you won’t miss anything. I’ll be home before dinner.”

  He is gone before I can protest. _Huh, home… Sounds nice._ Lost in thought, I follow Daichi to a room with a view over a grim… garden, at least that’s what I think it’s supposed to be. It all looks like dead plants to me. Well, there is one tree. One lonely tree with red fruits hanging from the branches. This could definitely use some more colour, so I decide that once I know how to make the soul flowers Hades showed me, I’m gonna use them to make the gardens around here a bit more colourful. But for now, what am I going to do until Hades returns?

  Sighing, I take a look around the room, opening cabinets  and doors, eventually settling on looking through the biggest closet. I purse my lips, thinking of things that it could contain, but after a few seconds I have enough of guessing and open the doors.

  Hm. Maybe it would be safer to wear some clothes fitting the environment if I’m gonna roam the castle. I flip through the dresses hanging in the closet and settle on a floor-length red and black robe.

  Once I’m dressed and have looked at myself in the mirror abundantly to ensure everything is in the right place and I look awesome, I start going through the contents of the closet again. After several drawers of sandals and belts, I finally stumble across something infinitely more interesting. There is a very old looking key underneath a big heap of jewelry that someone clearly hoped to hide from curious eyes.

  Well, not from me. I’m way too good. Okay, kidding. But really, I spotted it immediately. Now only one question remains in my brain, all the other thoughts disappeared. What lock does it open? I mean, if there’s a key, then there has to be a lock.

  You know, my mom always told me I’m too curious for my own good. Well, she can suck it up, I’m gonna find the lock this thing fits in anyway. I quietly walk to the door leading to the hallway and stick my head out to see if there’s a guard outside. When I see no-one, I tiptoe into some random corridor, but the key doesn’t fit on any of the doors there. I continue through the rest of the palace in much the same way, until I hear a gasp. When I quickly turn around, however, there’s no-one to be seen, although I do hear a vague “Korè…” What? Did I just imagine that? Let’s hope so. Not one to give up after one set-back, I continue my quest through the palace. Sadly, I still haven’t found a single lock that even looks like it could fit the key after two hours of searching, which is why it isn’t surprising I begin to slack off and turn a corner without looking if someone is approaching first.  

  I curse when I crash into someone’s chest with a little more force than is comfortable.

  “Lady Persephone?” I hear the human wall ask.

  I straighten my back and try to look as regal and dignified as I can. “Yes?”

  “Thank Hades I found you, my lady. We’ve been looking for you all over. My master requested that you were to be brought to the dining room. You see, you weren’t in your room so everybody sort of panicked..”

  “Oh, really now? Well, how about we indulge this master of yours in his wishes just this once? Lead the way.”

  After passing the same corridor for what feels like thrice in five minutes, the guard stops in front of a big door that I vaguely remember passing once or twice in my quest for the lost lock. He opens the door and makes a small bow, gesturing for me to go inside.

  I am extremely tempted to walk into the room and announce myself by calling out, “the me has arrived!”, but I decide against it and enter the dining room like a normal person.

  “There you are!” Hades calls out, getting out of his chair. “I wondered where you might’ve run off to. To be honest, I was a bit worried.”

  I skip to the table he’s sitting at and sit down next to him, petting Kerberos and Rigaros in the process. “You were worried? I’m a big girl, you know? I don’t think I’m stupid enough to get myself killed in a house. I mean, you’ve known me for a few hours now, so I hope you can tell I’m not _that_ stupid.”

  “You might’ve noticed this is not your average house, nor is it your natural habitat.” He runs a hand through his raven black hair and smirks. “I don’t think you’d survive that long.” He leans forward an places his hand on mine.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say, grinning back at him. “Oh, I found a key while nosing through your closet and went to look for the lock it fit on.”

  Hades rubbed a hand over his face and looks at me incredulously. “How can you tell me this so casually and in the same sentence claim you don’t know why I think you wouldn’t survive the Underworld on your own?”

  “Oh come _on_.” I let out an indignant huff. “You’re just worried.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  The way he so casually admits his worries about me makes me blush. And somehow I don’t mind that he worries about me, other than when my mom says she only worries because she doesn’t want to see me hurt.

  “Nothing. What do you think about the dress, anyway?”

  “I can’t see it properly like this. Why don’t you twirl for a bit?” From the look on his face I’m fairly certain he knows exactly what it looks like, but just wants to see it again. Or maybe he wants a better view? Who knows.

  I stand up and turn around slowly, making sure to move my hips enticingly.

  When I stop twirling, he is still looking at me, elbows on the table and his fingertips pressed together, his eyes slightly narrowed. I give him a look and he coughs loudly before turning towards his plate.

  “So, I was thinking…” Hades starts.

  “Never the best thing to do, but go on.”

  “Would you listen to me for one second without commentary?!” When I move my fingers across my lips to zip them shut, he nods. “Thank you. As I said, I was thinking, maybe… maybe you would like to go stargazing tonight? Daichi told me it’s completely clear.”

  Eyes wide, I look at him. “You can see the stars from here?” I ask, bewildered, but very enthusiastic.

  He smiles and shakes his head slightly. “No, we would have to make a little field trip to earth, but that’s done with a snap of my fingers, so shouldn’t really pose a problem. What do you say?”

 I’m trying really, really hard to form a normal sentence, but I only manage a kind of croak. _Great. Super charming._

  Hades is completely quiet for two seconds before bursting out laughing. “What was that?”

  On the inside, I’m dying. My stomach clenches and I look away from him, directing my gaze to the food on my plate. Trying not to be too obvious about my feelings, I huff and fold my arms, petulantly refusing to speak after he completely unnecessarily laughed at me.

  Hades waits patiently for a whole minute, but when he has accepted I won’t be speaking anytime soon, he continues the conversation on his own. “So, going by the earlier parts of our conversation, I assume you are so enthusiastic you are unable to form words? In that case, stargazing it is.”

  “You know, laughing at someone can hurt someone’s feelings,” I say instead of answering, completely ignoring his last words. “Maybe that’s why they put you down here.”

  He arches an eyebrow. “Really? You’re being naive.”

  “Insulting them won’t exactly help your case,” I add, starting to feel kind of angry. Forget kind of, I’m getting downright pissed.

  He gently places a hand on my arm. “Philtate, listen to me. It was not an insult. It slipped out before I could control myself. To be fair, usually, there are only ghosts here. And you might think that to be awesome, they’re definitely not funny.”

  I throw him a scowl. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

  He sighs. “Fine. How can I make it up to you, huh?”

  I give him a calculating look. Mkay, he’s better than Apollo, I have to give him that. Way better, too. Apollo would have given up on me ten minutes ago. Hades is so sweet. And I think that says something, with him being the god of the Underworld. And he is good with animals, which is, well, one of the things that make him a good person. I don’t think I’ve ever met a god who was genuinely interested in me. The rest is just narcissistic. I purse my lips. “The stargazing _does_ sound nice.”

  Hades’s eyes brighten. “Great, that’s decided then.”

  A grin appears on my face, so wide it actually hurts, but I can’t suppress it. Hoping Hades doesn’t notice my stupid expression, I turn to my plate and pick up some ambrosia. I’m already lifting it to my mouth when it’s suddenly hit out of my hand, an arm almost hitting me in the face. I jerk backwards in shock and look to Hades sharply, who still has his arm outstretched in my direction.

  “What the hell?! What did you do that for?” I ask, still a little shaken from the sudden outburst, my heart pounding in my chest.

  “You can’t eat that!” he says, way too loud, if you ask me.

  “And why not?”

  “Because then you wouldn’t be able to leave the Underworld permanently anymore. You would be bound to this place.”

  “And what? You don’t want me here? Is that it?”

  Hades looks positively scandalised. “What? No, that’s not it. I just think you should have the choice to stay or leave, not be forced because of some stupid rule.”

  All my anger melts away at this admission. Not knowing how to reply to this properly, I fall back on teasing. “Aahw, you _do_ care. But I _am_ hungry, so what will I be eating?”

  Hades smirks. “I’m sure there are plenty of families upstairs who would be willing to provide two gods with some food, don’t you think?”

 

Hades laughs heartily. “Did you see their faces? I almost thought they were going to throw some food at us and then run into the forest, just to get away from us. Peasants.”

  I throw him a glare in lieu of wacking him over the head and his relaxed face quickly morphs into a frown. “You’re the god of the freaking Underworld, of course they’re scared. You don’t exactly look like Eros or something.”

  He smiles at that. “What? You don’t think I’m handsome?”

  I point a finger at his face. “You’re twisting my words. I never said anything of the sorts,” I say, mockingly stern.

  “So you _do_ think I’m handsome?”

  “Twisting my words again. But if you so desperately need confirmation that you’re handsome, sure.”

  He wiggles his eyebrows, leaning forward. “You sure?”

  “If you keep fishing for compliments, I’m taking it back.” I look around at the forest we’re walking through. In the time it took us to eat dinner, it’s turned dark outside, so while I feel like I am familiar with my surroundings, we could just as well be walking in Africa.

  Okay, maybe not Africa. It’s too cool for that. But you get my point. I have absolutely no idea where we are. Wait, that tree looks familiar, doesn’t it? No, never mind.

  I squint my eyes at Hades playfully. “Where are you taking me, huh? Are you abducting me?”

  “That’s rich, coming from the girl who let me take her to the Underworld after only knowing me for ten minutes. I’m taking you stargazing, remember?”

  “Oh, come _on_. I’m never gonna hear the end of that one, huh? I was emotionally unstable. okay? Women get that sometimes. Even goddesses.” I worm my hand in the small space between his side and his arm, trying to get him to walk arm in arm with me. “Well alright then, take me stargazing.”

  “Emotionally unstable?” he repeats. My heart sinks in my chest. O, gods. What have I said now? “Was it that time of the month again?”

  “Gasp! How dare you ask me that so shamelessly? One does not simply ask a girl if she’s on her period! Really, it is no wonder you’re still alone in your fancy palace.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret having said them. I throw him a worrying glance, but he isn’t looking at me.

  “Remember lesson number 1,” he says, his voice emotionless. “As long as you’re with me, you won’t insult me.”

  I squeeze him arm where it is wrapped around mine as a silent peace offering. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. Sometimes I have no brain to mouth filter. It wasn’t true, what I said.”

  He quirks an eyebrow. “How is it _not_?”

  I shrug lightly. “You have me.” _Crap, that sounded way too creepy and sappy. What if he just sees me as a girl friend? Like, a girl who is also a friend?_ I clear my throat. “I mean- I have absolutely no idea what I said. Just forget about it.”

  All I hear is a snap of his fingers before I’m suddenly even colder than I was two seconds ago. I don’t have a lot of time to process, though, because a moment later, he has cupped my face with his hands and gently presses his lips to mine. I swear, it feels like fireworks exploding in my heart. He breaks the kiss a few moments, looking down at me with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, before leaning down again and capturing my lips in another breathtaking kiss that turns me into a flustered mess.

  I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve only known him since that morning, but it just feels right. It feels like everything Aphrodite told me about when I was little. Well, littler. He must be thousands of years older than me.

  Okay, don’t think about that now. Focus, Persephone. Focus.

  I open my eyes. I startle slightly, but am instantly intrigued by the purplish hue of his eyes. I narrow my eyes at him. Does he know that is my favourite colour and change it on purpose?

  “Yes,” he says, which startles me even more.

  “Did you read my mind? Talk about no privacy.”

  He scoffs. “No, you just said it out loud.”

  “Really? I did?”

  “Well, of course you did. Do you think I would keep something like ‘I can read minds’ from you if I could?”

  I smirk. “I don’t know, would you? After all, I am the girl that followed you to the Underworld after only knowing you for ten minutes.”

  “Thank the gods for that, otherwise this would have been very awkward.”

  I start giggling uncontrollably and soon we’re both laughing until our stomachs hurt, to the point we both have to sit down to make sure we don’t topple over. When I’ve managed to get a hold of myself again, I look at surroundings, scooting a bit closer to the guy who just gave me my first kiss. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me as close as possible without me sitting in his lap. He presses a kiss to the crown of my head, hesitates for a moment and captures my mouth with his again.

 I’m the one who pulls away, eventually, mostly to get some air. Damn, he knows how to get a girl breathless. “I know I already said I didn’t know where I was, but that hasn’t changed one bit. So tell me, where did you snap us off to?”

  “We,” he pauses for a dramatic effect, “are on the most fabulous mountain-”

  “ _Korè_?”

  My head snaps around so quickly I almost get a whiplash. “ _Hermes?_ ” I feel Hades tighten his arms around me. “What are _you_ of all people doing here?” I choose these words for the sole reason of irritating him. Everyone knows Hermes absolutely hates being called human.

  As predicted, he scoffs, clearly schooling his features to hide his annoyance - he’s failing miserably. He takes hold of one of my so quickly I can’t do anything about it and pulls me on my feet. “Your mother is worried sick about you. She hasn’t paid attention to her tasks for weeks.”

  “Wait a minute. Weeks? I was gone for a day.”

  Hermes shakes his head. “Time is different in the Underworld. You’ve been gone for six weeks now. Everyone had lost hope of finding you.”

  I throw a meaningful glance in Hades’s direction, indicating we’ll have words about this, and he looks at the ground in shame.

  “We’re going,” Hermes says, slipping his arm around my waist and almost taking off, but something holds him to the ground. He curses and looks behind him, where Hades has stood up, his eyes now a ice blue and his hands flaming blue fire.

  “ _You_ are going. _We_ aren’t going anywhere.” His voice is low, thunderous. The air around us seems to vibrate and the ground begins to crack. But when he looks at me, hesitation is present in his eyes. “That’s what you want, right?”

  Hermes lets go of me and turns to look at Hades, a smile displayed on his face. Slowly, he too starts looking more devine. His eyes turn gold, his skin begins to shine. He is fully confident that I will go back to Olympus. “Yes, tell him, Korè.”

  In reality, no-one gives me the time to answer either one of them. Hades’ eyes narrow and the cracks in the ground widen. I swallow harshly, looking into one of the closest ones, and take a horrified step back when I see skeletons climbing up the soil.

  “As I said,” Hades thunders, “she is not going anywhere.”

  “No!” I scream. “Hades, stop it!”

  He doesn’t look at me. He ignores me completely, and I can’t have him killing my half brother, how annoying he might be.

   “Hades, look at me!” I scream, jumping in between them, holding up my hands. Without really noticing, I send some energy into the ground to grow little bushes over the huge cracks. “Look at me!”

  Hades blinks, the blue in his eyes softening a bit, slowly shifting more to a warm purple, but we’re not there yet.

  “Hades, philtate, you have to _listen_ to me. I’m not going anywhere you’re not. But if you kill my brother, I have no choice but to go to Olympus and explain to my father what happened. You have to calm down. You hear me? _Calm down._ ”

  Hermes scoffs loudly. “See? He’s not a good fit for a goddess. He has anger management issues.”

  Hades’s eyes instantly turn back to icy blue.

  I turn around sharply. “ _What_ did you just say?”

  Honestly, I’ve never seen my brother this… _terrified_ of me.

  “ _He_ has anger management issues? What about our father, huh? What about you?” I throw my arm back to point at Hades. “ _He_ doesn’t complain about his job or the fact that he still hasn’t got a wife to grow old with. Every damn god or goddess on Olympus is basically the archetype of anger management issues, so don’t you _dare_ insult him like that.”

  I’m ready to jump him and claw his eyes out, but two strong arms slip themselves around my waist and pull me back. One snap of his fingers, and Hades and I are back in his palace, this time in a large, almost all black room. Since I’m entirely too comfortable in Hades’s embrace, I look around the room without stepping away from him.

  “Are these your quarters?” I ask.

  I feel him nod. “Yes, and you’ll have to excuse me. I have a war to prepare, so make yourself comfortable.

   “You sound rather cheerful with a war upcoming,” I say dryly.

  He shrugs. “Remember, my army consists of dead soldiers. They’re dead, so they can’t die in battle, and there have been a lot of wars, so there are a lot of good dead soldiers. A war I can win, and knowing that, it’s easy not to be afraid.”

  “That’s not all.”

  A broad grin appears on his face. “You chose me, philtate,” he whispers, stepping close. “You chose me, the god of the Underworld, over Apollo, the god of the Sun and I know what more. You chose me over your own family. So the least I can do is win this war. And, between you and me, it’s nice to win from my sickening brothers. We will let them see who’s the strongest.”

  He’s gone before I completely realize he said ‘we’.

 

The fruits are still a beautiful, deep red. When I reach out to pull one off the branches, the leaves turn from black to green. It looks like only my presence makes the tree come to life, as if it’s saying that I’m doing the right thing. And maybe it is. Maybe it isn’t.

  I take a deep breath and tear the fruit of the branch, taking a big bite. The juice drips down my chin, but I don’t care and take another bite. I go on and on and on, until the fruit is gone and I know it’s enough.

 

I jerk up from where I was dozing of on Hades’s bed, almost falling down on the ground in the process, when the door is thrown wide open and someone comes barging in.

  “What’s going on? Are we being attacked?” I ask Hades when I recognize him in the dim light from the red, orange and yellow candles scattered across the walls. “What’s going on outside?”

  Hades is fuming, a good 170 pound mass of muscles and anger. “The war is canceled.”

  I give him a look. “So you interrupted my beauty sleep for a bit of drama?”

  The blue flames that enveloped him when he entered suddenly disappear. “You don’t need beauty sleep, philtate.”

   _Why is he so freaking adorable?!_

  Directly after saying something so sappy he will probably forever deny having said it, the flames appear again as he starts to explain what happened earlier. “I was just of preparing the troops, when this little shit came barging in.” He turns away from me and gestures towards a figure standing in the shadows. I squint my eyes, but don’t recognize him due to the lack of light, at least not until he takes a step forward.

  Hades continues like he doesn’t notice my confusion. Why would my father send Apollo to talk to Hades? Wouldn’t Zeus know that this is like the most irrational decision ever and that there is a huge chance that this will turn out in a fight?

  “And he says that there will be a trial, because they don’t want to ‘crush me and my forces’. Like they could,” Hades mutters so only I can hear him. “I mean, I can win a war, but a trial? I’m sorry, philtate, but I fear everything is lost now.”

  I throw him an unimpressed look. “So much for the god of the Underworld. Drama queen, we’ll be fine.”

  I know he doesn’t believe me the moment he focuses his gaze on me. He looks genuinely scared that we will be torn apart, that he’ll lose what he has found. What he doesn’t know, however, is that I have a secret trump card that will make it impossible for us to lose. I applaud myself mentally.

  Apollo clears his throat, takes a step forward. “Korè, we have to go. Your mother is waiting for you.”

  I feel a flash of irritation when he calls me Korè. “Don’t tell me what to do,” I snap. “And I don’t care what my mother wants me to do.”

  Hades places a hand on my shoulder to calm me down, and probably to make sure I don’t attack him right then and there. “Come on, philtate, we have a trial to win,” he says calmly, before kissing me square on the mouth in front of the god I’m supposed to marry.

  “Hey! Don’t you dare kiss my bride!” Apollo shouts.

  However, he is fully ignored by the both of us. When Hades pulls away, he narrows his eyes slightly. “You-”

  “Anyway, we gotta go, right?” I say, way too cheerful for the moment, but who cares?

  Hades tries - rather successfully for everyone else, but not for me - to hide his smirk and I know he has caught on.

  We walk through the dark hallways, the candles on the wall flaming bright blue as we pass, only to continue to their usual warm red a moment later. The walk through the palace is long. Too long. The only warning Hades gives me is a small squeeze of my hand, before snapping his fingers and teleporting us to the right hall, the hall where every trial is held, leaving a probably fuming Apollo behind.

  “Hades,” comes the thunderous voice of my dad. I resist the urge to roll my eyes and turn around, just like Hades beside me, to see my mom and dad sitting on the throne of the king and queen of the Underworld. He’s not sitting beside Hera for once, maybe because my mom is more concerned by this than she is.

  Hades quirks an eyebrow. I only notice now how much younger he looks than most of the other gods. Did he do that just for me or is it because the time is different in the Underworld?

  “Let’s skip the formalities, shall we, brother?” he asks, sounding very amused. “And get your godly ass off of my throne.”

  A familiar voice speaks up from a table to the side of the room. “Try to keep things civil, Hades,” Athena chides.

  The moment she speaks up, I turn around and break into a sprint. Athena is the only one of my family I actually like. She has always been like a big sister for me, and although it was only yesterday I saw her - at least for me - I still miss her. So, I think a hug is in place.

  Athena, however, stops me before I can do so, quickly explaining herself when she sees the hurt look on my face. “I can’t give you a hug, sweetie, I am to be the judge of this trial. I have to stay impartial.”

  I study her face and see she’s serious this time. Not that she’s never serious or anything, but most of the time I can find a way to worm my way through some loophole or another to get her on my side. Since that doesn’t seem to be the case now, I give her a nod and a smile that probably looks more like a grimace. I’m not sure if I could forgive her if she took me away from Hades.

  I walk back calmly to the chair Hades has sat down in. There is no chair for me, but since Hades is basically sitting on a small throne, judging by the width of the seat, I figure there is more than enough room for me to squeeze in. When I nudge his foot to make him move to the side, however, he stands up and offers the chair to me.

  I quirk an eyebrow, but he just shrugs and motions for me to sit down. “Follow my lead if you want to make an unforgettable impression,” he murmurs.

  “Says the man who almost lost it at the thought of a trial,” I whisper back, which earns me a poke in my side, but I sit on the throne anyway.

  “Now sit up straight and act like you know what you’re doing.” Hades places a hand somewhere between my shoulder and the middle of my back and straightens his back. Suddenly, I see what he’s doing. We probably make the perfect image of power and tranquillity. Feeling a grin break out, I quickly school my features into a more appropriate expression.

  “Hades,” Athena says eventually, after she’s watched me squirm in the seat for a while. “Where is your lawyer?” She nods towards my mom, who sits in a chair like mine, Nike at her side. Shoot. Nike was a good choice, with her being the goddess of victory.

  “Well, he died 6000 years ago,” Hades deadpans, “and I’ve made it this far, so let’s continue.”

  Athena quirks an eyebrow when I try not to lose my composure, and I almost fail, again, but with a lot of biting on my lower lip and a rather painful pinch in my neck from Hades, I manage to keep looking like a queen.

  Zeus stands up from his throne and folds his hands together. “So, I’ll tell you all how this is gonna go. Nike speaks for Demeter, Hades speaks for Korè. After that, Athena decides where Korè has to stay. All clear?”

   _So they’re now going to fight about me without asking me what I want? Well that’s just_ great _. See, this kind of shit is why I left home in the first place._

  Nobody answers, but Zeus sits down again like everybody _has_ answered him and gestures for us to begin. Nike, as expected, stands up first and begins talking about how sad I’ve made my mother by staying away and how bad living on the Earth is right now, because my mother has forgotten about all about her tasks. I don’t see how that’s my fault, but hey, did somebody ask me? No. Of course not.

  I almost fall asleep, so long does Nike’s rant continue. I only stay awake because Hades pinches my neck at regular intervals. I don’t know if he can feel me doze off in my chair or if it’s meant to be supportive, but it certainly keeps me awake, so that’s a good thing, I guess.

  And then, I’ve had enough of all this waiting. I stand up as well, slowly, to add some drama, and take the same pose as my father, hands folded and in front of my stomach.

  “If I may say something,” I start.

  I am rudely interrupted by Apollo, “No.”

  “Well, excuse you, but I didn’t ask you, so sit down on your divine ass again, _blakas._ ”

  “Korè!” Zeus and Demeter shout from the other end of the room.

  “Yeah, FYI, I changed my name, okay? It’s Persephone now. If you could actually call me that instead of basically calling me _girl_ , that would be great.”

  Zeus turns his gaze to Hades. “What have you done to my baby girl?”

  Hades gives his brother a satisfied smirk. “Nothing. She chose to go after me, to follow me here. She wanted to stay here. And _she_ let me kiss her.”

  Not the best thing to say, in this room full of gods who kind of hate him. I facepalm as I let the cacophony of sounds roll over me that erupt after Hades’s statement.

  “Oh gods, Korè, he hasn’t,” my mother hesitates slightly, “dishonored you, has he?”

  I stare at her with a blank expression for a good five seconds. “What?”

  “She’s asking about our non-existent sex life,” Hades whispers, so that only I can hear. I subtly kick him in the shin for almost making me laugh again. This is a serious trial, _damnit!_

  “That is none of you nosy parkers’ damn business,” I hiss at my mom, starting to get really irritated by her already.

  I swear, she almost faints. “Oh good gods, Zeus, he has!”

  I groan. This is going to be a long trial.

  “He hasn’t, okay, mom? And stop asking about my sex life.”

  Oh, how fun it is to use this kind of language in her presence. This can barely be considered foul language compared to some of the words I’ve heard mortals utter, but she already faints at the use of the word butt.

   “But how hasn’t he done it?” my dad asks. “You were here for months.”

  I groan again. A _long_ trial. “Just because the only thought on your mind is sex with women other than your wife, doesn’t mean I am the same. Besides, time is different in this part of the world. I call it space-time relativity. One day, the mortals will understand my genius and research it extensively.”

  He looks at me like I’ve gone crazy. “Is that a fancy way of saying you have done it? Are you speaking in tongues, young lady?”

  “No,” I say, doing my best to shine all the exasperation through that I can muster. “It means that the five minutes you took here to discuss my sex life in public took three hours and a half upstairs.”

  He still doesn’t get it. How stupid can you be? It’s a miracle he actually gave birth to the goddess of wisdom. I throw my hands in the air. “Fine, believe whatever you want. You know what? Yes, we did it. Happy?”

  Hades chokes on air and glares at me, but there’s no menace behind it.

  “I’m gonna kill you, brother,” my dad growls.

  Now it’s Hades’s turn to throw his hands up in exasperation. “ _Now_ you choose to listen to her? How about the time she told Demeter she didn’t want to marry a douchebag without having any say in it? And how about keeping her on a leash since the moment she was born? Has she ever had _any_ fun?”

  When I look at Athena, who is still standing on the other side of the room, I see she’s almost ready to burst out into anger at the mess this trial has become. “I want order!” she screams, her voice high-pitched and squeaky.

  Zeus turns his gaze at her. “You seriously think this was going to be a real trial? We’re gods, we don’t do trials.”

  If I had to pick a moment where Athena would surely attack her own father, this would be it. I’ve never seen her this angry. Her eyes are metallic grey, the colour of her shield and spear. She takes a deep breath and walks away from our dad and the other gods sitting together. “Fine. But then I’ll choose her side.”

  “What?” Demeter screams.

  I puff up my chest. _Ha!_ That will teach them.

  “Zeus, do something!” Demeter says.

  “Yes, Demeter,” Zeus murmurs quietly, before speaking up. “Persephone, you are to return upstairs immediately and remain there. You can’t see Hades again for at least another year.”

  I smirk devilishly. “You know, I could do that. But then again, I could also just stay here. I don’t really feel like dying yet, you know?”

  Zeus sighs. “Really, Korè-” _Ugh, he’s using my old name again_ “-stop this madness. You won’t die, okay? I get it. You’ve just fallen in love for the first time, you’ll die if you don’t see him, but we can’t have you making a scene right now.”

  “Oh, you simpletons,” Hades sighs, shaking his head in mock sadness, “how I wish it would be that simple.”

  “What do you mean?” Apollo growls.

  I drop down on the small throne and turn sideways to throw my legs over one arm of the chair and lean with my back on the other. “Well, you see, I got very hungry over the time I was here. I’m still a developing goddess, which takes a lot of energy. So, I went into the garden and found a pomegranate,” I say over-excitedly. “Turns out, they are delicious.”

  A collective gasp can be heard all around the hall.

  “Hades, you knew about this?” Zeus asks.

  “Nope,” he says, popping the ‘p’. “At least, not until I kissed her afterwards.”

  “Look, it’s no use fighting about it now,” I say before my dad can murder his brother. “I don’t want to spend my whole life up on Olympus. I’ve never felt home. I’ve never felt like I belong there. I want to live here.”

  A heart-wrenching scream of anguish sounds through the hall. My mom claps her hand for her mouth, tears running down her cheeks, all colour drained from her face.

  I swallow harshly. It’s the truth, what I’ve just said, but I didn’t count on this reaction. My mother and I have never really seen eye to eye on things. I just thought that she thought the same of this matter as I did, but that apparently isn’t the case.

  The moment Hades places his hands on my waist and nudges me to continue, however, I know that what I said was the right thing. I straighten my back and look at Zeus and Athena to hear their final decision. Zeus is rubbing his temples as though all these complications ask too much of his small brain.

  Athena is the one to speak up, eventually. “I think we can’t deny her to stay here. She may have stayed here only a day, but she has found her place here. She looks happy for the first time in… forever.”

  Demeter’s face brightens somewhat. “But she can’t stay here forever! She has to take care of the plants upstairs, or else she would be ignoring her assigned task.”

  For some reason, my eyes become wet with tears. “So, what? I’ll be spending half a year with you guys upstairs and a week here, because time runs different here?”

  “I think that’s a great idea!” Apollo calls out.

  I throw him a deathglare. _What. An. Ass._ “I was only kidding, _blakas_!”

  Athena holds up a finger. “No wait, let’s continue this trail of thought. I think this is probably the best solution, with the only change that the time should run at the same speed up- and downstairs.”

  I blink. “You can do that?”

  Athena cocks her head. “I, personally, can’t. The only one that _can_ won’t help because he thinks we don’t deserve his help. Trust me, we’ve tried. But I _do_ know that a marriage will get the time streams to run at the same speed.”

  Zeus clasps his hands together excitedly, happy that he can follow along again. After a few seconds, however, a look of true horror makes its way onto his face. “Wait, you want to marry my only daughter off to some scumbag who doesn’t even know how to think of proper punishments?!”

  Athena throws him a glare. “She’s not your _only_ daughter, remember?”

  “Well, of course I remember.”

  “Really?” Athena looks unimpressed. “Because it sure didn’t sound like that. Have you forgotten the prophecy that was made about me? ‘She will have power and glory equal to her father’s’. That’s why you ate my mom, remember? And then you were ready to marry me to Hephaestus like it was nothing.”

  “Someone here has daddy-issues,” Hades whispers in my ear, which sends my into yet another fit of giggles.

  “Quiet!” Athena snaps. “If you want me to you help you out here, I suggest you don’t insult me any further.”

  Hades gulps and stays quiet.

  Now it’s Athena’s turn to rub her temples. “Alright. This is what’s going to happen. Persephone will join Hades in marriage-”

  “Hold on, no-one asked me, and I’m still her father!” Zeus calls out.

  “Shut up,” Athena hisses. “Okay. After that, Persephone will come with us upstairs, because the plants are all dead and we need you, honey. While she’s there with us, _no-one_ will harass her. Understand?” She looks at Apollo, who shrugs and turns his back at us, mumbling something which sounds suspiciously like ‘I didn’t like her that much anyway’. Athena continues. “Persephone, you will stay on earth for six months, after which you can return to your husband, where you can stay for the rest of the year. Does everyone agree?”

  After some mumbling, most of the gods nod.

  Hades leans his head down and whispers in my ear, “She didn’t say anything against me visiting you…”

  “Shut up, you sap,” I whisper back, turning around. “We have a wedding to plan.”

**Author's Note:**

> 'Philtate' means 'Most beloved'


End file.
